1.10.11

I cry, too often.  
A flood of tears until I find myself drOWNING. 
I absorb too much sea INto myself...
The tears sPILL like a hot spring, steam rolls in and dEAT-h's dew drops sit patiently at my feet.
Inside them (all) swam a green-haired girl who had (nEVER ever ever) been tOUCHed by a boy to WHOm sHE was so devoted that she would have lived with him (FOR-ever) in a shack by the sea or a ruined sand CASTle even if he (never) made love to her. 
A potion. A cHARM..?
...There, far out at sea, I saw so mANY strange things!...
Once, tHERE swam a little girl whose fatHER was dying withOUT ever having SEE-n her yet, I thought it odd, BEcause she was directly in front of him as sHE had been tHE wHOLE time.

There, swam a girl whose mOTHER’s magic – the only thing the girl envied more than ANYthing else in the world - & the thing that had made her (in)visible - the most precious thing –might be dying too - just like her mOTHER told her stories of how the girl had BROKE-n her own mother's womb in birth. How SELFish could she be??


My tears were for me, but they were also for her. Sweet, sweet girl, 
WhE-n dI-d you sOUR-? 
How did they kill your soul while maintaining the physioLOGICAL CHARACTERistics of a walking, talking semi-SENTient girl-grOWN-tALL?

They had to CONtinuously and eternally wASH away the thing that had frightened tHEm so much so long aGO. 
The wound INside is HE-r.
My tears pOUR-ed out of me and i only surmised tHIS beCAUSE my face was wet and my eyes BURNed hot like fire pit coals. 
My face was wet!

I drank them [salty tears] down my throat. 
I drank them [salty tears] in gulps deep Into mySELF, swALLOWING sorrow- TRYing to D-rOWN, drown, drown [them] so far down, that wretched demon INside- to asphyxiATEd that horRID BEast. 

‘SomeDAY,’ the demon said,
 ‘W-hE-n you are ready, I will give you back yOUR tears in full."

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